Fear, Vision, and the Leadership Paradox

When OpenAI's board fired Sam Altman last November, then hired him back 72 hours later, they accidentally revealed something every leader knows but won't admit: we're all terrified of our own ambitions.

The chaos at OpenAI wasn't really about governance or safety protocols. Strip away the corporate speak, and you'll find the same tension that keeps every leader I know awake at 3 AM. You see something others can't. You push toward it. People follow, then panic, then question everything—including you.

Sam got fired for moving too fast. He got rehired because his vision was too compelling to ignore. That's leadership in 2024: caught between the need to sprint and the fear of falling off a cliff.

I've been thinking about this paradox a lot lately. Not because I'm some leadership guru (I'm not), but because I'm living it. Every day at DEX, CVflow, GEA. Every conversation with founders who are building in AI, fintech, climate tech. We're all dancing on the same tightrope.

Why Good Leaders Make People Uncomfortable

Here's what nobody tells you about leadership: the moment you stop making people a little nervous, you stop being effective.

Not terrorizing them. Not being a tyrant. But creating just enough tension that they can't sleepwalk through their work. The best leaders I've worked with—across boardrooms in Shanghai, Paris, Silicon Valley—they all have this quality. They make you sit up straighter. They ask questions that expose what you've been avoiding.

But here's the catch: if that's all you do, you become the person everyone works around instead of with. I learned this the hard way early in my career. I thought being the "challenging" guy was enough. Turns out, fear without direction just creates chaos.

The magic happens when you can hold two things at once: "This isn't working" and "Here's where we're going instead."

The Math of Trust

Think about the leaders you actually follow, not just the ones you report to. They probably scared you a little at first. Maybe they called out something everyone else was pretending not to see. Maybe they pushed for a decision when you wanted more time to think.

But they also gave you something to believe in. A reason why the discomfort was worth it.

I remember a board meeting where our growth metrics looked solid but felt hollow.

Everyone was politely agreeing that we were "on track." I broke the silence: "We're hitting numbers, but are we building something that matters beyond this quarter?"

Uncomfortable? Absolutely. Three people shifted in their chairs. One person checked their phone.

But that's when the real work started. That's when we stopped optimizing for dashboard green and started building for impact.

Cultural Code-Switching

This paradox plays out differently everywhere you go. In France, leaders are expected to be a bit intimidating—it signals competence. In China, you never show uncertainty, but you also never crush hope. American teams want optimism, but they're constantly scanning for weakness.

I've watched brilliant executives flame out because they couldn't read the room. They brought their Silicon Valley "fail fast" energy to a culture that values stability. Or they tried to be consensus-builders in environments that expected decisive action.

The fear-vision balance has to be calibrated for context. What feels like appropriate challenge in one culture can feel like aggression in another.

The Personal Cost

Let's talk about what this actually costs. The higher you climb, the lonelier it gets. People stop telling you the truth. They start managing up instead of speaking up. You become the person whose mood affects the entire floor.

Your family notices it too. My kid asks why I look "thinking-sad" after certain calls. My partner can predict how our latest negotiation of venture partnership is going based on how long I stare at my coffee in the morning.

But here's what I've learned from parenting: the same dynamics apply everywhere. Getting a kid to try something new requires acknowledging their fear without letting it set the boundaries. You have to project enough confidence that they'll borrow some, but enough honesty that they trust you see them.

Leadership is just parenting at scale.

Why This Matters Right Now

We're living through the age of disruption—AI, climate change, geopolitical shifts, economic uncertainty. Everything feels simultaneously urgent and fragile. The old playbooks don't work, but the new ones aren't written yet.

This is exactly when the fear-vision paradox becomes most powerful. People are scared. They're also desperately looking for someone who can see a path forward.

The leaders who thrive won't be the ones who pretend everything is fine. They won't be the ones who only focus on problems either. They'll be the ones who can hold space for both the anxiety and the possibility.

The Questions That Matter

If you're building something right now—a company, a team, a new version of yourself—ask yourself:

Where am I playing it too safe because I'm afraid of making people uncomfortable?

Where am I pushing so hard that I've forgotten to show people why it matters?

Who's brave enough to tell me when I'm getting it wrong?

A Final Thought

The best conversations I have with other leaders aren't about frameworks or best practices.

They're about the nights we couldn't sleep. The decisions that almost broke us. The moments we nearly walked away.

If you're reading this, you already know the paradox. You live it every day. The tension between fear and vision isn't a problem to solve—it's energy to harness.

That discomfort you feel when you're pushing your team, your market, yourself? That's where the real work happens. That's where change becomes possible.

The question isn't whether you can eliminate the tension. The question is whether you can dance with it.

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Kangze (Kevin) Hong Founding Partner, LYC Partners | Founder, GEA & DEX AI

APAC | Europe | Global

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